So if you keys out there have me on social media, you would know that I have recently entered a relationship. I know crazy right? If you scroll back to earlier posts here on LawkIT, you would see me ranting about how all guys are fuckboys and that I did not want to be in a relationship. I guess this was just one of life's weird moments where you say fuck it and go for it. I mean, out of all the guys who have holla'd, he was the only one who approached me decently (plus I guess he is cute too which helped haha). He literally came out of nowhere, but then came the awkward moment of telling him about my sexuality.
If you have not read the post where I talk about my sexuality, you can check it out here. You can probably imagine the nervousness I was feeling and the self-doubt that I had running through my mind. I mean, my sexuality was a huge part of the reason I was single for long (the other part being the ridiculous population of fuckboys). No joke, I convinced myself that if I never got married, I would be okay with that, when the truth was deep down I was not. I want to have kids and someone to share my overly-affectionate, smothering ass life with, but the mental state I was in was telling me that the possibility of that was slim to none. Then this random guy came out of nowhere and wanted to pursue a relationship.
I told him early on about my sexuality because this is definitely not something you leave unsaid until further down in the relationship. I told him what was good and to my surprise, he did not care about my sexuality, he just wanted to be with me. Crazy right? Well to me it was. I even hit him with "are you sure you want to get to know me? I'm a weird person to get to know". He said yes and now here I am with a boyfriend that I could see spending my life with.
Now how do we navigate this in our relationship? If you recall from my post I state that I am not sex averse, I just do not experience a lot of the "normal" physical feelings during sex. Open communication is key. I tell him what is on my mind, what I like, what I do not like, and what feels comfortable. If I'm not feeling it there is no coercion. He respects what I have to say and it is a good time. I think this has to do with the fact that we both view relationships as more than just sex. We want to build each other up and grow and do all those things that two people in a relationship share with each other outside the bedroom. It helps when you find someone that shares the same view about relationships as you do.
Advice for those people entering a new relationship with news to tell their potential partner: just say it. In the end, if they do not have the reaction you desire, they most definitely are not for you anyways. In my personal opinion, a lot of relationships falter because of lack of communication. Do not start your relationship off with lies or withholding the truth. You never know, one day God may decide to bring someone special into your life and if you are not ready for them, it will not work out. The best relationships often begin unexpectedly, so be brave and do not be afraid to be yourself :)
