We as women have been tearing each other down for far too long. Read our thoughts on these crimes and see if you are guilty.
R: I don’t know why humans are the only species on the planet to do this. I don’t think my overweight cat goes around comparing himself to other cats in the neighbourhood...he just lives his life! Social media, and the media in general, have taught women that in order to be valued in society, you have to look like the models on these sites and ads, and what ends up happening? Women tearing each other down because they don’t match up to what has been deemed beautiful in society. Ladies, WE NEED TO STOP! All this is doing is tearing down our fellow females when we should be uplifting them and celebrating bodies of all shapes and sizes. Judging someone else’s body doesn’t do anything for your own. It’s not a good look hunny.
K: I totally agree with you girl...it's such a big waste of time. Every woman was created uniquely, no one else can do you other than you! Beauty comes in ALL shapes AND sizes, and the only thing that is really important is who you are as a person. If you find yourself body shaming another woman, sorry to inform you, but you have way too much time to waste. You as a woman should know how hard society is on us and how that could create so many false insecurities. We shouldn’t have to be putting ourselves down because what society deems beautiful! Heck, it's even this society that voted in Trump! I don’t know about you, but that’s not a society that reflects my views. I always say “As long as you’re healthy who cares!” Ain’t nobody got time to be hating on another woman’s physical vessel that’s only purpose is to house her soul. Instead we should be empowering each other and helping each other bring out and own our sexy, but that cannot happen until YOU are happy with what YOU see in the mirror.
R: We’ve all done it. I was, and probably still am, guilty of this crime. The time where I participated in gossiping the most was in high school. It is true what they say: when you talk shit or put someone else down, you are likely projecting your own insecurities onto them. Why do we feel the need to talk about someone else’s life when we are not the ones living it? Unfortunately, there is no body transfer machine where we can get a full understanding of someone else’s life. Before you start gossiping or spreading rumours about someone, think about why you even care so much to do so in the first place. Maybe it’s your own life that needs re-evaluating. Stop talking about others and start talking to yourself. Maybe the reason you are talking about others on the outside, is because you have something you want to change on the inside.
K: Again. Another unproductive waste of time. The way some of us formulate and spread gossip and rumours, you would think that we are a New York Times bestselling author! MAJORITY of the time it’s nothing but fiction and even if it’s facts...who cares?! We really need to break out of the habit of trying to escape our own realities and being so foss (aka. nosey) to make us feel better about a situation. It’s really not our lives to be feeling some type of way about and we have no clue what our other ladies are going through. Rather than feeding into the bull shit you hear, if you are so concerned about this person why not approach them and genuinely show them that you want to be there for them. If you don’t care to step in as a sister and shed light on a situation, then why is this person’s name even in your mouth? How sad would it be if you got so caught up in the gossip and rumours that you found yourself dead center into the mix up? So sad right. We just really got to remember the saying “If you got nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Now spread that!
R: This makes no sense to me. Why would you choose to tear someone else’s life down secretly or overtly? We are all just human beings trying to function and live our lives, why should that be a threat that you feel the need to bring that other person down? I find haters are the ones who secretly want to be you, but don’t know how to express it in a positive way because they’re mad that they’re not at that stage in their life. Again, reevaluate your life! There should be no need to tear our fellow females down just to feel better about yourself. A team doesn’t win if everyone wants to hog the ball. What will make our team win is the support and encouragement we show to our sisters. Try giving a compliment instead of writing that nasty thing you were about to type down or think of...it’s really not that hard.
K: Gurllllllll, if you don’t preach. It’s all in the word. Haters are full of hate. According to a googled definition, HATE:feel intense or passionate dislike for (someone). To me that’s doing too much. You don’t even HATE the nigga that cheated on your ass one too many times deemed healthy, or the system that has oppressed a race of people for just being lit...but you have time to passionately dislike a woman because what...she SLAYS?! Lawd, we’re more fucked up than I thought. The presence of hate is the absence of love. We should be encouraging each other and respecting the slay, not projecting such negative energy because you’re unhappy with how your life is going. That’s really what it is. Hating hoes ain’t happy, and happy hoes ain’t hating. I’m tryna be apart of the latter.
R: This is another one that I don’t understand. YOU CANNOT transform your being into someone else’s, you have only this one life so do something with it! If you feel envious about what someone has that you don’t, what is stopping you from achieving that same goal? If you want that car that she has, work for it, if you want that house, work for it, if you want that body, work for it! Remember that everyone in life progresses at different speeds. There’s no need to be jealous of another female for something she has that you don’t just because they achieved it at an earlier age than you or whatever the case may be. Someone owning a Lambo at 22 and other at 50 does not make the 50 year old any less than the 22 year old, after all, they both own that Lambo. Do you want to be known as a strong woman who has it all, or the woman that spent her whole life wishing for what other people have?
K:You too bod mind, you too bod mind! Jealousy is actually one of the ugliest traits a woman can have. When I think of a jealous person I just see a rotten soul dying away inside. It doesn’t matter how BAD one may appear on the outside, if you have a jealous heart, you’re probably gonna miss out on the blessings God has in store for you! Your attention is set on other people, craving the things they have instead of recognizing the blessings that are within and right in front of you! Whatever is meant for you will be for you. No need in comparing lives with another woman when we all have walked different journeys, served different purposes, and receive different blessings. My man J. Cole said it best in his “Love Yourz” track, “...you ain't never gon' be happy till you love yours”. Nothing but facts. Life is not a race, and our fellow females are NOT our competition. It’s a journey, that only you can live and succeed in. As Lauryn Hill says “How you gonna win when you ain’t right within?”
R: The biggest thing that baffles me about this is the women who know they are the ones doing it. How do you feel comfortable knowing that you are with a man who was claimed by someone else already? He is never 100% thinking of you, giving you his full attention, bringing you to the family functions...what is appealing about that? Even if he does leave his other chick for you, what is stopping him from having another gyal on the side once again? A lot of the times I feel that women commit this crime out of spite because they want to take away a man from a gyal they have beef with or whatever the case may be, but when the day is done who is really the one losing? Again, we are tearing down the bond that females need to have to live in this life because life is already hard, why make yours and someone else’s life harder by fucking up a relationship?
K: This is just sad. We are goddesses, and deserve the finest things...why then do some women feel the need to pursue some other female’s man? I see female’s all over social media bragging about how they took another girl’s man and in a sick way, they actually feel like they’ve won?? First of all hunny, that nigga you “won” is trash. For him to just step out of his relationship to entertain someone who isn’t his woman is just BEYOND disrespectful and he most likely has NO sense. Secondly, you can’t find your own? What does that say about you as a woman and the energy you put out there? Kings recognize Queens, and NO King is going to value a woman who throws that pussy in a circle for a little clout and side ting pictures. At Least no man worth investing time in. This is why females have a hard time trusting each other. It’s one thing to be a badass female and know it, but it is highly unnecessary to flex on another female’s relationship. You look dumb. Leave your daddy and mommy issues at the door please and get your life together. YOU ARE OF VALUE AND DESERVE TO BE TREATED AS SUCH!
If you are guilty of any of these crimes don't worry! This just means you can change these attitudes NOW. It is never too late to start something new and change for the better of all womankind :)
"I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own"
-Audre Lorde
